So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
