She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
