currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
