flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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