and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize