I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
