By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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