Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
