I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
