If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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