the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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