i already hear my dad disowning me
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
