Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
