Hey man sorry I got all grabby
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
