I hope mine doesn't look like that
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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