then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
ttyl tear gas
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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