Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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