I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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