Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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