Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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