i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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