so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
