omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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