At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
