Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The adults are the big ones right?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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