fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
