Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band

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(914): View more from New York

Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.

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(740): View more from Ohio

While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.

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(559): View more from California

well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"

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(573): View more from Missouri

The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape

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(407): View more from Florida

my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.

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