there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
