I need help removing her.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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