Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
