Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
