Dual....:-)
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she peed on how many people?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
