The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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