hell yes lets make some ravioli
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
