i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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