doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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