i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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