What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
