Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
