I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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