Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
