I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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