you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Someone stole a lamp last night.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
