why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
