fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
