His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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