Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
