I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
