We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You ruined the universe
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize