The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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