when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
