Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
