well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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