one two three fourrrrnication!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
