Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
