The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
