dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
