Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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