My first STD was from a foam party
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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