I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
