Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
